Tuesday, October 16, 2007

"It ended with the pork chops"

"#$%&!!!!" I moaned.
"Do you want to punch something?" my roommate asked.
"No. I want to do this," and I plopped down onto the hardwood floor in her doorway. "This is me defeated."

I had just worked over an hour on an important document, and it was deleted. My roommate came over and stretched out across the floor on her stomach, "This is my defeated posture." She has been fighting with the "the world is too big and messy to even attempt to fix it" problem that social work majors often face (and those of us who aren't social work majors, too). A third roomie walked in minutes later with a I'm-completely-drained expression. "Wanna show us your defeated posture?" I asked. She sprawled behind me in the hallway and leaned on my back. "I am tired. My friend didn't thank me for the pork chop dinner I made. And coffee is awful." She had just watched the documentary Black Gold at a Fair Trade House Party.

So we sat. Defeated.

And during our defeated-on-the-hardwood-floor time, we discussed how our education system is screwed up. We are taking FASCINATING classes, and have no time to process them. My Society & Religion class is incredibly stimulating. I could learn it so thoroughly if I had time to debate it with my friends over a cup of non-awful coffee. It's not an issue of time management, but an issue of having to take 15-18 hours of classes at the same time - each of them mind-boggling and challenging. And honestly, I've left most classes without retaining much. What IS college for? The diploma? I would like to think it deeply challenges and expands my intellect and view of the world (and it does, for sure.) but it has so much dormant potential!!!

Related to being defeated and growing, check this out: GENERATION Q

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9A07E2D71E3DF933A25753C1A9619C8B63

It's been circulating among my friends... we're processing it... and what it means for us...

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Dorky, adjusted, high diving me

There's so much intense movement within me... I can't follow it or express it well... so in typical me-style blog, little things about life I've figured out and one or two of lo mas profundo (the more deep things):

**DORKY ACADEMIC THOUGHTS
I'm working on this huge senior history research paper, and two thoughts have sprung from it: #1. I am SUCH a digital generation kid. TODAY was the first day of my life that I used a card catalog. I learned at age 21 years, 10 months, and 14 days how to use a card catalog. Incredible. #2. I don't know if you have opinions on Census data, but to encourage you: fill out the 2010 Census!! As fully as possible. I am using 1920 and 30 Census data, and it. is. amazing. I'm convinced they are a gift to historians and to humanity!! *laugh.

**Being CREATIVE
Head's up for the year: thought-space is going to be filled with the exploration of creativity as a concept, and my creativity. While reflecting this past week, I thought of creative venues that I had as a kid, but left to the side in the past decade. When I realized I could still explore them and live in them, I instantly felt this freedom and confidence. It was as if the walls around me took a few steps back. And I'm working on demolishing those walls.

**ADJUSTMENT
Not until this past week have I finally re-adjusted (mostly) to U.S. living, and to the reality that my life is HERE now. It took me TEN WEEKS. That's ridiculous. That's what it took to adjust INTO Buenos Aires, a place I had never ever been before. Transitions fascinate me.

**SCARY THOUGHT
Do any of you have a list of all the things you've ever been excited to do during your lifetime? And is it an ACTION list? I've been slowly compiling this list in my head for years now, and I'm getting close to writing it down. But I'm scared. Because I know that once my list becomes concrete, material, my life is never going to be... Well, it's just going to be crazy. And fun. And risky. And colorful. Why would I be scared about that? I don't know *shrug. But it's intimidating. It's like when I told all my friends in sixth grade (I wasn't the young daredevil child) I would go off the high dive; I knew once I climbed that ladder, I had to do it. Ready....

I'll let you know when I say the g-word. It's not yet...