Yesterday my friend and I did our ritual of the year-in-review and goal-setting for the coming year. This year we were guided by Michael Melcher's design. His method of tackling such a daunting reflection-time was efficient, thorough and uncovered things that surprised and delighted me! I recommend it. Check it out:
http://shiftingcareers.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/12/26/
year-end-review-with-yourself/
We enjoyed verbally processing what we wrote -- it was fun to see how distinct hers was from mine! I'm going to share my "top ten" with you and the resulting goals... These will most likely affect my blog entries for the year. Consider it a summary of the goodness to come (*laugh).
Top Ten blurbs of 2007(in order):
1. "I want"
2. Big world, bigger God
3. Simplification
4. Mountain climbing
5. Adjustments
6. Comfortable becomes uncomfortable
7. Independence
8. Self-expression
9. No "Church" (referencing time in S. Amer.)
10. Girl Mullet
Some surprises (mtn. climbing at #4??), others predictable, but complete and beautiful.
2008 goals:
1. Heightened awareness of my desires and energy - what makes me come alive?
2. Find ways to connect with God through questions and learning.
3. Live slowly and simply -- with materials and time. (Buy consciously. Fix things. Say no. Drink afternoon teas.)
4. Have at least 4 weekends with ample amounts of nature-time: woods/mtns./fresh air.
5. Further explore and live in outlets of my creativity: write poetry. dance. construct something. cook.
6. Commit to self-growth, being accountable, and challenging myself.
7. Do fun crazy things that surprise even myself. Just because.
I am excited to face this year - changes, uncertainty, and all...
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Music Update: Tango Electronica
I got de-nied! Yep, asking for what I really wanted didn't yield great results... but I asked. And felt empowered. So now I'm starting from Base 1 and trying again, and dreaming again, and... trusting.
Here's my music plug: while in Buenos Aires, I met tango electronica. It's amazing - it has the passion of tango, rythms of hip hop and house, and the creativity of Sigur Ros or Album Leaf. My favorites:
Bajofondo : profile.myspace.com/bajofondomardulce/
Gotan Project: profile.myspace.com/gotanproject/
Tangheto: profile.myspace.com/tanghettospace/
Each is a bit different - Bajofondo and Gotan Project are the most well-known and most listened-to... They're amazing.
Enjoy! Also check them out in Youtube...
Here's my music plug: while in Buenos Aires, I met tango electronica. It's amazing - it has the passion of tango, rythms of hip hop and house, and the creativity of Sigur Ros or Album Leaf. My favorites:
Bajofondo : profile.myspace.com/bajofondomardulce/
Gotan Project: profile.myspace.com/gotanproject/
Tangheto: profile.myspace.com/tanghettospace/
Each is a bit different - Bajofondo and Gotan Project are the most well-known and most listened-to... They're amazing.
Enjoy! Also check them out in Youtube...
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Asking for the stars
If you could do ANYTHING in your life, what would you do?
I know, cliched question. One for which I never have an answer. You've probably already blown it off. (Am I right or am I right?)
Within the past few months, I've had to stand and bravely face THE question. I've faced it, but bravery hasn't shown through as much as fear. I'm in this point in life that I literally can take steps in any direction I want. More than ever before, I feel the walls of expectation backing off. Not surprising, I am the builder of the walls; I've constructed them of others' voices --- instead of my own desires, and my own voice.
To find my voice, I've been dreaming a lot and confronting stifling fear. Key to confronting this fear has been asking for the stars and the moon. I have been pushed and challenged to ASK for my dreams. I don't know if I've ever done that... it's this selfish-feeling complex I have. But I've done it - at least twice. It is so FREEING.
There's an organization I've dreamed about for months; I would give anything to work there. I know they don't have much money, and would never dream of them paying me to work there. I decided I would at least ask if it were possible to WORK there. Perhaps I could get grant money. For months I've been terrified to ask in case they say no. So this week I had a roommate hold me accountable to writing them. Yesterday I had a professor proofread my letter. She said, "Megan, where's your second question?"
"What second question?"
"If you don't get grant money, if they'd give you a small amount so you could survive. Write it."
I stopped and stared at her. "I can ask for that?"
I walked out of her office feeling so hopeful. I'll probably get turned down, but I'm ALLOWED to ask for my dreams. I'm supposed to. Incredible. My deepest yearnings are placed in me by God, so they're His/Her deepest desires as well... so I'm responsible for pursuing them... that's beautiful.
What have you been thinking about lately? What are some of your deepest desires? Do you give them the time and respect and voice they deserve? Try going out on a limb and asking if you can do something (even a small something) that you've always dreamed of... even if you're turned down, the action of asking is liberating. just liberating.
I know, cliched question. One for which I never have an answer. You've probably already blown it off. (Am I right or am I right?)
Within the past few months, I've had to stand and bravely face THE question. I've faced it, but bravery hasn't shown through as much as fear. I'm in this point in life that I literally can take steps in any direction I want. More than ever before, I feel the walls of expectation backing off. Not surprising, I am the builder of the walls; I've constructed them of others' voices --- instead of my own desires, and my own voice.
To find my voice, I've been dreaming a lot and confronting stifling fear. Key to confronting this fear has been asking for the stars and the moon. I have been pushed and challenged to ASK for my dreams. I don't know if I've ever done that... it's this selfish-feeling complex I have. But I've done it - at least twice. It is so FREEING.
There's an organization I've dreamed about for months; I would give anything to work there. I know they don't have much money, and would never dream of them paying me to work there. I decided I would at least ask if it were possible to WORK there. Perhaps I could get grant money. For months I've been terrified to ask in case they say no. So this week I had a roommate hold me accountable to writing them. Yesterday I had a professor proofread my letter. She said, "Megan, where's your second question?"
"What second question?"
"If you don't get grant money, if they'd give you a small amount so you could survive. Write it."
I stopped and stared at her. "I can ask for that?"
I walked out of her office feeling so hopeful. I'll probably get turned down, but I'm ALLOWED to ask for my dreams. I'm supposed to. Incredible. My deepest yearnings are placed in me by God, so they're His/Her deepest desires as well... so I'm responsible for pursuing them... that's beautiful.
What have you been thinking about lately? What are some of your deepest desires? Do you give them the time and respect and voice they deserve? Try going out on a limb and asking if you can do something (even a small something) that you've always dreamed of... even if you're turned down, the action of asking is liberating. just liberating.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
collecting pieces of the world
Audience participation: Prepare yourself. Ready. and begin.
Recall one of the most beautiful landscapes you've been in. Or recall a lively and fun moment with a loved one. Can you remember the scents of the moment? the sights of the moment? what sounds your ears recorded? how you felt during it? what thoughts it conjured in you?
In moments that I want to capture and remember forever, or experiences during which I want to be fully present, I do Moment Grabbing.
My camera was stolen/lost three weeks into my Sudamerica trip. So I started memorizing scenes, landscapes, and experiences. People always say, "That's awful about your camera," and while yes, photos would be great, I'm somewhat grateful. Instead of a computer folder with hundreds of photos, I am filled and bursting with this beauty I memorized: of private lagoons and wild blackberry stained fingers, of volcanoes and mountain rivers, of the surprisingly un-awkward chatting between tangos, of musty wooden floors and dancing snapping fingers.
So next time you want to memorize a moment, or just be fully present in it, try this: silence yourself. let yourself fully understand that you are THERE. present. nowhere else. let your gaze rest on one aspect of the scene. memorize it. close your eyes to test yourself. stay there until it's perfectly real behind closed eyes. do this until all sights are captured. next close your eyes and memorize the smell. make a metaphor to help you describe it. let the noise hit you, let your body absorb it, and tuck it away. notice the emotions and thoughts that arise in you as you fully live in that one moment. then make sure you can mentally recreate it.
viola. you now have another piece of the world inside you.
Recall one of the most beautiful landscapes you've been in. Or recall a lively and fun moment with a loved one. Can you remember the scents of the moment? the sights of the moment? what sounds your ears recorded? how you felt during it? what thoughts it conjured in you?
In moments that I want to capture and remember forever, or experiences during which I want to be fully present, I do Moment Grabbing.
My camera was stolen/lost three weeks into my Sudamerica trip. So I started memorizing scenes, landscapes, and experiences. People always say, "That's awful about your camera," and while yes, photos would be great, I'm somewhat grateful. Instead of a computer folder with hundreds of photos, I am filled and bursting with this beauty I memorized: of private lagoons and wild blackberry stained fingers, of volcanoes and mountain rivers, of the surprisingly un-awkward chatting between tangos, of musty wooden floors and dancing snapping fingers.
So next time you want to memorize a moment, or just be fully present in it, try this: silence yourself. let yourself fully understand that you are THERE. present. nowhere else. let your gaze rest on one aspect of the scene. memorize it. close your eyes to test yourself. stay there until it's perfectly real behind closed eyes. do this until all sights are captured. next close your eyes and memorize the smell. make a metaphor to help you describe it. let the noise hit you, let your body absorb it, and tuck it away. notice the emotions and thoughts that arise in you as you fully live in that one moment. then make sure you can mentally recreate it.
viola. you now have another piece of the world inside you.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
"It ended with the pork chops"
"#$%&!!!!" I moaned.
"Do you want to punch something?" my roommate asked.
"No. I want to do this," and I plopped down onto the hardwood floor in her doorway. "This is me defeated."
I had just worked over an hour on an important document, and it was deleted. My roommate came over and stretched out across the floor on her stomach, "This is my defeated posture." She has been fighting with the "the world is too big and messy to even attempt to fix it" problem that social work majors often face (and those of us who aren't social work majors, too). A third roomie walked in minutes later with a I'm-completely-drained expression. "Wanna show us your defeated posture?" I asked. She sprawled behind me in the hallway and leaned on my back. "I am tired. My friend didn't thank me for the pork chop dinner I made. And coffee is awful." She had just watched the documentary Black Gold at a Fair Trade House Party.
So we sat. Defeated.
And during our defeated-on-the-hardwood-floor time, we discussed how our education system is screwed up. We are taking FASCINATING classes, and have no time to process them. My Society & Religion class is incredibly stimulating. I could learn it so thoroughly if I had time to debate it with my friends over a cup of non-awful coffee. It's not an issue of time management, but an issue of having to take 15-18 hours of classes at the same time - each of them mind-boggling and challenging. And honestly, I've left most classes without retaining much. What IS college for? The diploma? I would like to think it deeply challenges and expands my intellect and view of the world (and it does, for sure.) but it has so much dormant potential!!!
Related to being defeated and growing, check this out: GENERATION Q
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9A07E2D71E3DF933A25753C1A9619C8B63
It's been circulating among my friends... we're processing it... and what it means for us...
"Do you want to punch something?" my roommate asked.
"No. I want to do this," and I plopped down onto the hardwood floor in her doorway. "This is me defeated."
I had just worked over an hour on an important document, and it was deleted. My roommate came over and stretched out across the floor on her stomach, "This is my defeated posture." She has been fighting with the "the world is too big and messy to even attempt to fix it" problem that social work majors often face (and those of us who aren't social work majors, too). A third roomie walked in minutes later with a I'm-completely-drained expression. "Wanna show us your defeated posture?" I asked. She sprawled behind me in the hallway and leaned on my back. "I am tired. My friend didn't thank me for the pork chop dinner I made. And coffee is awful." She had just watched the documentary Black Gold at a Fair Trade House Party.
So we sat. Defeated.
And during our defeated-on-the-hardwood-floor time, we discussed how our education system is screwed up. We are taking FASCINATING classes, and have no time to process them. My Society & Religion class is incredibly stimulating. I could learn it so thoroughly if I had time to debate it with my friends over a cup of non-awful coffee. It's not an issue of time management, but an issue of having to take 15-18 hours of classes at the same time - each of them mind-boggling and challenging. And honestly, I've left most classes without retaining much. What IS college for? The diploma? I would like to think it deeply challenges and expands my intellect and view of the world (and it does, for sure.) but it has so much dormant potential!!!
Related to being defeated and growing, check this out: GENERATION Q
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9A07E2D71E3DF933A25753C1A9619C8B63
It's been circulating among my friends... we're processing it... and what it means for us...
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Dorky, adjusted, high diving me
There's so much intense movement within me... I can't follow it or express it well... so in typical me-style blog, little things about life I've figured out and one or two of lo mas profundo (the more deep things):
**DORKY ACADEMIC THOUGHTS
I'm working on this huge senior history research paper, and two thoughts have sprung from it: #1. I am SUCH a digital generation kid. TODAY was the first day of my life that I used a card catalog. I learned at age 21 years, 10 months, and 14 days how to use a card catalog. Incredible. #2. I don't know if you have opinions on Census data, but to encourage you: fill out the 2010 Census!! As fully as possible. I am using 1920 and 30 Census data, and it. is. amazing. I'm convinced they are a gift to historians and to humanity!! *laugh.
**Being CREATIVE
Head's up for the year: thought-space is going to be filled with the exploration of creativity as a concept, and my creativity. While reflecting this past week, I thought of creative venues that I had as a kid, but left to the side in the past decade. When I realized I could still explore them and live in them, I instantly felt this freedom and confidence. It was as if the walls around me took a few steps back. And I'm working on demolishing those walls.
**ADJUSTMENT
Not until this past week have I finally re-adjusted (mostly) to U.S. living, and to the reality that my life is HERE now. It took me TEN WEEKS. That's ridiculous. That's what it took to adjust INTO Buenos Aires, a place I had never ever been before. Transitions fascinate me.
**SCARY THOUGHT
Do any of you have a list of all the things you've ever been excited to do during your lifetime? And is it an ACTION list? I've been slowly compiling this list in my head for years now, and I'm getting close to writing it down. But I'm scared. Because I know that once my list becomes concrete, material, my life is never going to be... Well, it's just going to be crazy. And fun. And risky. And colorful. Why would I be scared about that? I don't know *shrug. But it's intimidating. It's like when I told all my friends in sixth grade (I wasn't the young daredevil child) I would go off the high dive; I knew once I climbed that ladder, I had to do it. Ready....
I'll let you know when I say the g-word. It's not yet...
**DORKY ACADEMIC THOUGHTS
I'm working on this huge senior history research paper, and two thoughts have sprung from it: #1. I am SUCH a digital generation kid. TODAY was the first day of my life that I used a card catalog. I learned at age 21 years, 10 months, and 14 days how to use a card catalog. Incredible. #2. I don't know if you have opinions on Census data, but to encourage you: fill out the 2010 Census!! As fully as possible. I am using 1920 and 30 Census data, and it. is. amazing. I'm convinced they are a gift to historians and to humanity!! *laugh.
**Being CREATIVE
Head's up for the year: thought-space is going to be filled with the exploration of creativity as a concept, and my creativity. While reflecting this past week, I thought of creative venues that I had as a kid, but left to the side in the past decade. When I realized I could still explore them and live in them, I instantly felt this freedom and confidence. It was as if the walls around me took a few steps back. And I'm working on demolishing those walls.
**ADJUSTMENT
Not until this past week have I finally re-adjusted (mostly) to U.S. living, and to the reality that my life is HERE now. It took me TEN WEEKS. That's ridiculous. That's what it took to adjust INTO Buenos Aires, a place I had never ever been before. Transitions fascinate me.
**SCARY THOUGHT
Do any of you have a list of all the things you've ever been excited to do during your lifetime? And is it an ACTION list? I've been slowly compiling this list in my head for years now, and I'm getting close to writing it down. But I'm scared. Because I know that once my list becomes concrete, material, my life is never going to be... Well, it's just going to be crazy. And fun. And risky. And colorful. Why would I be scared about that? I don't know *shrug. But it's intimidating. It's like when I told all my friends in sixth grade (I wasn't the young daredevil child) I would go off the high dive; I knew once I climbed that ladder, I had to do it. Ready....
I'll let you know when I say the g-word. It's not yet...
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