Megan-in-transition characteristic: I have a hard time making myself go to bed. I have this impossible idea that if I don't go to sleep, tomorrow will never come - that as long as I'm awake, change won't happen. So I just don't go to bed.
Ridiculous, I know. But it happens. A lot. And it's happened for years and years; I remember nights in high school that I stayed up super-late, putting off the morning's transitions (so it seemed). And that's how the past few weeks have been. It's not that I want to return right now, or that I don't want what's in the future, but the re-adjustment is really...duro...difficult. Usually I'm ready for change - bring it! - and I like overcoming it and adapting to it, but I've had to take this change really slowly and gently. And without much sleep. :)
When traveling through northern Argentina and dreading leaving, I made a list of things I was looking forward to in Chicago. And sometimes when I don't want to go to bed, I made similar lists about life in general. :) The Chitown list:
-- Running on the lakefront: being able to run for as long as I possibly can while seeing and hearing the water the whole time.
-- Doing normal life with friends. As much as I loved living with a family in a "home", I missed having friends around for daily life - walking to the grocery store, doing homework, eating breakfast...
-- Laughing so hard with my roommates that tears stream down my cheeks
-- Being around people who enjoy and play off of my playfulness -- I didn't find anyone who could match my playfulness... I've been dying!
-- Being able to incorporate a bit of argentine life into my normal life - meriendas, living simply, late-night dinners, looooong conversations...
-- The challenge of maintaining the ways I've changed while in the place of my "life before".
And I think I've mustered up enough... whatever it takes to decide to go to bed. *smile. May you be sleeping well...
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